18 Things People Who Do Insanity Are Tired of Hearing

on August 21, 2014

You’ve probably seen the infomercials for Insanity, which is billed as “the hardest workout ever put on DVD.” Upon meeting someone who actually does this beast of a workout, you also probably have lots of questions, comments, and concerns you’d like to voice to them. However, below are 18 things that should never come out of your mouth when you’re talking to people who do Insanity, both out of consideration for them and for your safety. Remember, these people have spent two months learning how to pack a punch and jump higher than your face.

1. “It doesn’t seem that hard.”

I’m sorry, but you’re a little insane to think that, my friend. Wanna try it with me? No? Didn’t think so.


2. “I could totally do Insanity if I wanted to.”

Not to be rude, but when the warning says Insanity is “extreme,” “not for everyone,” and “consult your physician beforehand,” it’s not kidding.


3. “Why are you eating so often? Aren’t you doing this to lose weight?”

While weight loss is often a side effect of Insanity, the program is focused on improving overall fitness, particularly cardio strength. Some people even do it to try to gain muscle.


4. “Are you sure you burned off all of those calories?”

Yes I am. Actual quote from the nutrition guide: “When you’re digging into this ultra-extreme fitness regime, you can’t go low-calorie or low-carb.” I didn’t just burn off those calories, I torched them and then did a war dance around the bonfire.


5. “Don’t be such a drama queen. It can’t be that difficult.”

I guess some people don’t think that jumping for 40-60 minutes straight with only a few 30-second breaks is difficult, but I’m not one of them.


6. “Working out in a pool of your own sweat is so gross. I could never do it.”

In case you haven’t noticed, we humans are a pretty disgusting species, between puking and pooping and giving birth and all that jazz. In fact, in the scheme of life sweat actually isn’t that gross — especially since sweat on its own doesn’t actually smell.


7. “How it can it be ‘the hardest workout ever put on DVD’? That seems like an exaggeration.”

Okay, maybe “the hardest” can’t quite be proven, but it’s still pretty darn hard.


8. “Can’t you just skip a day? It’s not that big of a deal.”

Insanity is so hard that we never really “feel” like doing it. If we skip one day, we will probably start skipping every day.


9. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

Um, because I want to become more fit and healthy. Also, since when did I have to account for my actions to you?


10. “You already look great! You don’t need to do Insanity!”

We get that you’re trying to compliment us in a weirdly backhanded way, but seriously — you don’t decide what sort of workout we do or don’t need to complete, we do. And when will you understand that Insanity isn’t just about looks?


11. “Stop talking about Insanity. You’re making the rest of us feel bad.”

So let me get this straight:  I’m not allowed to feel proud of myself for all this hard work because you’re don’t feel the same way about yourself?


12. “I just can’t justify spending that much time working out.”

Actually, Insanity is one of the most efficient workouts out there — it never takes more than an hour a day, and the phase one workouts are even shorter than that.


13. “You’re not supposed drink for two straight months?! How are we going to hang out?”

Idk, go to a movie or shopping or any of the other numerous social activities we human beings engage in besides imbibing alcohol?


14. “Have you lost weight yet?”

Please just stop. I’m getting more and more embarrassed for you every time you open your mouth.


15. “Aw, good for you, girl/bro!”

It was encouraging the first time, but now that you’ve started saying every time I tell you about Insanity, it’s beginning to feel really patronizing.


16. “Oh, so you’re one of those fitness junkies.”

I wish you’d kick up the judgment another notch, because I’m not quite feeling it yet.


17. “I know you’re doing Insanity, but …”

The words “Insanity” and “but” do not belong in the same sentence. Ever.


18. “You’re crazy to do this!”

Actually, we don’t mind hearing this one so much — just so long as you mean good crazy.

Found in: Fitness